FUNNY JOKES

"Gurl, do you have a shovel in your back pocket?" (No Why?) "Cuz I'm diggin' that ass!"

 On a scale from 1 to 10, you're a 9...... And I'm the 1 you need.

"When a penguin finds its mate they stay together for the rest of their lives. Will you be my penguin?"

 "I hear you're good at algebra.....Will you replace my eX without asking Y?"

 Hey can I follow you home? ("What?") "Oh sorry my parents just told me to follow my dreams."

 "I'd like to point out that "beautiful" has U in it. But, 'quickie' has U & I together."

"I heard you're a Gryffinwhore" (Why?) "Because you let every wizard Slytherin!"

 Baby, if you were a fruit you'd be a fineapple. "Roses are red, Violets are blue, You can be my Cinderella, I'll even give you a shoe" Country boys don't need pick-up lines, cause they've got pick-up trucks. "Hey, are your parents beavers, cuz DAMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM."

 "Hi, i'm wasted but this condom in my pocket doesn't have to be."

 "Hi, i'm writing a phone book, can I have your number?"

 "If you were a transformer. You'd be a hot-o-bot, and you'd be called Optimus Fine!"

 "You can call me "The Fireman"....mainly because I turn the hoes on."

 "Hi, I'm going to have to ask you to leave!" (Why?) "The sign says NO SMOKING....and you are definitely SMOKIN!"

 Boy: Girl, whats your number?

 Girl: I have a boyfriend

Boy: I have a math test

 Girl: What?

Boy: I thought we were talking about things we could cheat on You must be a magician, because every time I look at you, everyone else disappears.

Do you have a name or can I call you mine? I want you to know something but I'm too scared to tell you in person. So I'll just let the first 3 words of this sentence say it for me.

You must be a banana because I find you a peeling. Hey, wanna come over to Myspace and Twitter with my Yahoo till I Google all over your Facebook? "Is your dad a military general? Because when you walked by, my privates snapped to attention" Do you buy your pants on sale? Because at my house they would be 100% off. I'm not a weather man, but you could expect more than a few inches tonight I'm not a hipster, but I can make your hips stir.

 Your name must be Coca Cola, because you're so-da-licious Forget pick up lines, we need break up lines like "is it hot in here or is this relationship suffocating me?"